Too little too late for love
by guessmename
Summary: "I think it would best if you leave." She points out. "Okay." Yet another crack. "Will I see you at school?" You ask, hopefully. "Probably not." Finally, you hear something shatter.


**This involves a relationship between two of the girls.**

* * *

You had her from the word go. Nothing could possibly change that but maybe it because it's the rain running down the window you were looking out or could it be that in the back of your mind you could still hear her.

_All the words that she had said to you. _

_All the words that she meant. _

You're sure she loved you but you couldn't love her back so you watched her suffer.

_You watched her fall apart._

You watched as she swept you off your feet and how she looked at you with pure love in her eyes.

_But you couldn't return it._

The way that you kissed each other had the other girl wanting more.

_But you didn't feel anything._

Now you stand outside wishing that she had realised sooner, that you had returned the affections that the other girl gave you . You wished that you could have moved on when you had the chance.

_But you didn't._

You remembered the fights that they would get in but you would come back to each other.

_Because she loved you._

"Time circulates in our mind, nowhere else." She used to say to you when you went to leave somewhere because you claimed that "You were late."

You were never late though. You just wanted to get away from here without hurting her feelings.

_Because she was a friend._

You kept her quite about the relationship and you're not sure why anymore. She said that she would anyway because that's what her past relationships were.

_A secret._

You pushed her to limits untrainable and she would always push further. She wanted to help you and all you said was the only way to do that was to show her love. To show her how to feel again.

_To breathe again._

She did that the best she could but you kept pushing her away. You kept your distance when she said that was the wrong way around it.

_You realise what you did wrong now._

"I'm sorry." Is all you say the brunette on your bed.

"I know."

She doesn't say anything else because you know how broken she is about all this.

_Everything's a mess._

You can feel again now. You can breathe again now. You can do anything now.

_It only took her leaving._

You can remember that night perfectly. You can remember the dress she wore that day. You can remember the way the sky was perfect, a warming blue. Everything that day seemed to be perfect.

_That's when the clouds came as fast as thrown dart._

The clouds started to cover the sky and grey soon smothered the sky instead. You missed the warmth that radiated off the blue but you know that they sky is a mere representation of how you feel.

_Smothered._

You called her up later that day saying you had something to tell here. The only response that came was;

_"__I'm coming."_

She was always reliable. She would give anything up for you. She would push all her problems away if it meant seeing you smile.

You couldn't see that though. You were too blinded by grief to even see that she was just as exhausted as you were. All those nights she had spent awake to hold you. They had all been a waste of time.

_But you're never sure of whose._

I could be yours because you spent so many days smothered in the past. It could have been a waste of her time though because she was the one that let you grief for as long as you needed.

_She never complained though._

She never said a single word to you about how tired she was getting and how she was starting to give up. She felt like she wasn't good enough to help you anymore.

_And that's exactly what you said to her._

You said that she wasn't any good at helping. You yelled at her because she wasn't helping. You even slapped her when she tried to explain things.

_God, did you slap her._

You can remember the echo that the sound of the palm of your hand reaching the cheek of the brunette made. You can remember how she slowly moved her hand up to her cheek and you don't think you've ever seen a more broken look in somebody's eyes.

_"__I'm sorry I tried then."_

It was the only thing that she had said the entire time you were yelling at you. It's the only thing she actually said because she walked straight out your room. She walked straight out your house because you can remember the slamming of the door downstairs.

_You just stood there._

You're not sure why though. You should have felt happy that she was finally out your life. You should have felt relieved that people are finally realising just how hopeless you were. You should have felt anything but the remorse that started to cloud you brain.

"How's your cheek?" You finally ask hoping to start a conversation.

"Fine." Came the morbid reply.

You look at here again and just notice how red her eyes are. The bruise on the side of her face that seemed to slowly be getting better. You can see the bags under her eyes now from the lack of sleep. You can see the destroyed look in her eyes.

_You even notice the fear._

You notice just how scared of you she is now. She's scared of what you're going to do to her now. She's scared that you going to do something to her in her own home. Her parents aren't home so what's stopping you?

You go back to that day and how to feeling of remorse slowly grew over the span of 3 days. That's when you started realising that you could actually feel love again. You realised that you weren't feeling like you where grieving anymore.

_You realised that you fell in love with the one person you may have just lost forever._

The girl you now love didn't want to be found though. She didn't show up to school and when you asked the others how she was doing they just replied with one word.

_"__Terrible."_

That's when you realised just how much that they didn't understand what's wrong with her. You had her keep everything in the dark that she slowly became so down and nothing could be said to change that.

_Because they didn't understand._

They didn't understand how to fix her. They didn't know who had left the bruise on the left side of her face. You watched as they complained of trying to help her but they couldn't get anything out of her.

_"__I promised not to tell."_

Is apparently what she would tell them. You could see it was ripping your friends apart that they couldn't do anything. You felt them slowly give up on her after a week. They just couldn't figure anything out because she wouldn't say anything.

_Your broke her._

It was the only though running through your mind for the week you just watched your other 2 friends try and help her. You knew that it was your entire fault she was feeling like that. You know what you had done and you regret it.

_You just don't know how to say you're sorry._

You don't know how to say you're sorry for blindly watching her helping her. You don't know how to say you're sorry for treating her like shit. You don't know how to say you're sorry for pushing her to limits unseen by her. You don't know how to say sorry for making her feel like she actually helped you when she didn't.

_She had spent months doing that._

She spent months trying to teach you how to love again and you said it was helping even when it wasn't. That's what kept her going. That's what made her try and try again. You now it was actually helping you when you didn't say it though. That's how she started to give up on you.

"You did actually help me in the end." You explain as she doesn't move a muscle on the bed she's laying down on.

"I'm not so sure."

Your heart breaks a bit as she says that because she's just given up on herself now. She's now convinced that she can't actually do anything again.

_You made her this way._

"I'm over her now. I'm not grieving anymore."

"That doesn't mean I'm not though."

You realise now that this isn't how you wanted everything to go. You just wanted to be fixed in the first place and have everything work out in the end.

_Not everything is a fairy-tale. _

"This is just a pointless cycle isn't it?" She asks and that's the first time she has started up a conversation.

"Depends if we can break the cycle."

"Do you really think we can do that?"

"Yes"

"Why am I not so convinced?"

_"__Because I broke you."_

That's where the conversation stops. That's the first time you had ever said that out loud. The first time you realise that you believe it. Of course you had believed it but that was in your mind. Out loud,

_It's a whole other story._

You walk over to her bed and you make eye contact with her. You look down at her and smile before bending over and placing a kiss right on her lips. It's just a small kiss but you hope it helps because that's the first time you've actually initiated a kiss between you and her.

"I want to fix you as well." You whisper to her as you pull away.

"It's too late for that."

_You hear a crack._

"Please, let me help you Aria." You plead.

"I can't Emily, I'm just done."

_Another crack._

"I think it would best if you leave." She points out.

"Okay."

_Yet another crack._

"Will I see you at school?" You ask, hopefully.

"Probably not."

_Finally, you hear something shatter._

You slowly trudge you way down stairs and shut the door to the Montgomery house before traveling to you house feeling numb.

_God, you numb._

When you get there all you do is walk straight up to your room, not bothering to talk to your mother. You slam your bedroom door shut and you just sink to the ground.

_That's when you realise that the thing that shattered was your heart._

You can feel yourself going back into the state you were in 4 weeks ago and you know your friends are just going to give up on you and her.

_Because they don't understand it._

_All the words that she had said to you. _

_All the words that she meant. _

You only realise now just how late you were to realise that you miss those words.

_Because you realise now just how much you've lost._


End file.
